In an ideal world, all parents would provide consistent and loving guidance and training for their children. They would talk to them, read to them, eat with them, and understand them. However, parents are not perfect. If you are a youth, you may feel that your home life is less than ideal. You may be right. Nevertheless, there is much you can do to reduce your anxiety and increase your happiness.
Increased isolation
Movies, TV Shows and Magazines
have portrayed youths as being constantly surrounded by a group of friends and
maintain that bond as adults. The reality for most teens is quite different.
Many youths lack a sense of
connection and have few close friends with whom they are comfortable discussing
problems or sharing ideas. Teens that do make friends seem to have little time
to spend with them. Most Teenagers spend about 10% of their time face-to-face
contact with friends but up to 20% of their waking hours alone—more time than
they spend with either family or friends. They eat alone, travel alone, and
entertain themselves alone. Encouraging this trend towards isolation is the
proliferation of electronic devices. The time Magazine in 2006, reported that
youths between 8 and 18 spent on average, Six and Eight hours a day with eyes
glued to the TV, their ears plugged with ear phones, or their hands hovering
over video-game controls or computer keyboard.
Pressured for sex
Teens and even preteens are
under tremendous pressure to experiment with sex. Most girls started having sex
between the ages of 12 and 15. Casual sex is very common among youths at
school. Those who do not have sex are considered strange. Casual sex is so
common among peers that only saying no, once, is not enough—you repeatedly have
to reject the invitation.
Researchers surveyed a
thousand youths whose ages ranged between 12 and 19 and who were from a variety
of backgrounds. They found that almost 50% of the youths regularly engaged in
some form of sexual activity. Over 20% of these sexually active youths were
only 12. The controls that the family, the church and other institutions
traditionally exerted have vanished, leaving the young as casualties.
Are youths who experiment with sex really casualties?
In a report published in 2003,
researches drew a direct link between teenage sexual activity, depression and
an increased risk of attempted suicide. They analyzed interview with 6,500
teenagers and found that sexually active girls are more than three times more
likely to be depressed than are girls who are not sexually active. And among
boys those who are sexually active are more than twice as likely to be
depressed as are those who are not sexually active.Fractured families
Most youths in most countries of the world have experienced rapid changes in family structure and a shifting set of values. In the past few decades there have been several major demographic changes that directly affect the lives of teenagers. The size of the average family has been decreasing, so adolescents are likely to have fewer siblings. As divorce rates continue to rise, more children are spending part of their childhood with a single parent. And more mothers of children are working, so it is less likely that there is an adult at home. Whether children are living with one or with two parents, many feel alienated from their parents at the very times they need them most. Most parents of today’s teenagers belong to the post-war baby boomer generation, and grew up being exposed to a new set of values emphasizing economic success and material gains. What values do such parents pass on to their children? Many parents today primarily care about their children’s academic success. As long as their children study, other things have become secondary, or do not even matter at home.
How can such an unbalanced
emphasis on material success and academic achievement affect youths? When
children appear to act crazy, it may be because they do not perceive their
family to have a controlling impact on their behavior.
Many youths express their inner anguish in a more direct way. They cut, bite or burn their own bodies. It is estimated that three million teenagers suffer from self inflicted injury and one in every 200 teenagers suffer from chronic self-injury.
